Art of Seduction Uzumaki Style
by Ichimaru Jackson
Summary: Tsunade decides it's time for the new generation kunoichi to lean the arts of seduction getting Shizune, Anko, Kurenai, Naruto and his brother to help her assist in teaching Sakura, Ino, Hinata, Tenten, and Temari the proper ways to seduce credit to LOOZR
1. Chapter 1 Revised

"Why…just why baa-chan?" Questioned Naruto his face currently putting a tomato to shame worrying anyone currently in the room if whether or not his head would explode.

"Look gaki I know you must be surprised but you have to realize that I wouldn't be asking you two of this if I didn't feel you were to best to handle this type of mission." Stated the Godaime Hokage in an authoritative tone, one could only have from years of experience as a Kage, that held no room for argument.

"But why us…specifically both of us, Naruto knows Kage Bushin he should be more than enough to handle this mission on his own. Stated a red haired carbon copy of the whiskered blond, minus said markings and a couple shades darker than his blonde counterpart, ignoring the shout of "you know it too asshole".

"Look Naruto, Nexus I'll be straight with you two, this training is something that is vital for most kunoichi to know, while most may not choose to enter this profession it still proves to invaluable for them to at least have the basics of seduction training and even though most if not all the shinobi nations, great, small, and in between have come to form an alliance through the defeat of Uchiha Madara things are still a bit tense and if it comes down to it I'd like to have the next generation properly prepared for whatever may happen down the line; which is why I need **both** of you for this mission."

Taking a breath Tsunade pulled the medical files for both Naruto and Nexus and a bottle of sake setting the items on the table, taking a swig of the latter. "Naruto, Nexus you are both Uzumaki, while Nexus is full blooded while you are only half-"

"Then let Nexus have the mission of that makes him better qualified!" Shouted the blonde shinobi pulling at whatever he could to get him out of this mission; completely oblivious, by choice, of the death glare being leveled on him by the flustered redhead.

"Neither of you are getting out of this mission, now if you'll shut up for five minutes I can explain why." Clearing her throat the Godaime Hokage gathered herself, took another drink of sake, and flipped open their files to marked points as she continued. "While Nexus is a full blooded Uzumaki and Naruto is only half you both show signs of the clans famed stamina and longevity, Nexus's being more potent due to being full blooded, making you perfect for this mission. Naruto on the other hand is a Namikaze, and back when that clan was still around rumors of their endurance were spread like wild fire, and you house the Kyuubi No Yoko, drastically increasing your charka reserves and stamina further, along with the fact you both can perform Kage Bushin en mass makes you invaluable for this mission."

Taking a moment to allow this information to sink in Tsunade flipped from the mediacal records to their profile evaluations.

"Now for the reason I need **both of you** for this mission. Naruto, while wild and reckless, you have proven time and again that you are one of the best shinobi produced this generation you, strength and determination only matched by the compassion and loyalty you hold for this village and those within her walls, which is why I've found you to be the perfect subject for interrogation. Only when those precious to you are endangered would you even consider mentioning the color of the villages' roof tops let alone vital information.

Nexus, as Naruto's cousin, the same traits that have made him into the great shinobi his is can also be seen within you. The only difference being that while Naruto protects these walls from within, you protect them from without; you have become one of the best most trusted hunter-nin that has ever join the ranks. Nicknamed Hells Hound not only because of your unique ability but because of you flawless track record, of never losing a single target I need you to in this mission to help teach these girls how to not only track down a target but to also elude those chasing after them."

Shutting their files the buxom Hokage stood staring down the Uzumakis with the high ranking seriousness and authority of their superior, of their ruler gaining their full attention and spoke.

"This is why you both must take this mission, objections will not be tolerated, I did not make this decision lightly you two are the most capable this village has to offer, do I make myself clear?"

With a twin response of Hai Hokage-sama the platinum blonde returned to her seat behind smiling softly.

"But..." Frowning at the crimson haired Uzumaki's objection choosing not to voice it till she heard what he had to say. "wouldn't some one more…experienced in this department be better suited?" He asked Naruto nodding in agreement, both a bit red with embarrassment.

Having expected this to come up sooner or later Tsunade took a breath and opened her mouth to reply.

"Don't worry we'll make sure you know everything about pleasing a woman before letting you loose on the girls."

When the door opened and in walked Mitarashi, Anko teasingly answering for her, a bit more blatant that the blonde hokage preferred, patting them on the back.

"Yes as Anko so blatantly put it, we will be instructing both you and the girls in the ways of handling the opposite sex, though why she's here when I specifically instructed her to retrieve the others baffles me." Tsunade stated placing her sake away before she took notice of it.

"I'm here cause I completed my job Hokage-sama, I wanted to make sure I was back in time to see the looks on the gaki's faces when you told them the mission." Answered the violet haired woman as Shizune, Kurenai, Hinata, Sakura, Ino, TenTen, Tayuya, and Temari walked inside causing the male duo to visible stiffen and mentally freak out at the thought of who they were soon to be _working_ with.

Ignoring the pair who were currently trying to become one with the corner Tsunade went on and explained the details of the mission to them, allowing them ample time to complain and freak out, just as she did with Naruto and Nexus before explaining her reasoning behind the mission.

"Though I will understand if you choose not to accept this mission-" Pausing the Hokage settled a death glare upon the two males in the room effectively silencing any potential protest from them. "I feel that it's necessary for you to know that those who accept and see this through to the end will be compensated for an S-rank mission."

Allowing the girls to discuss their decision amongst themselves, everyone in the room was surprised that Hinata, who was practically comatose during the entire mission briefing, was the first to accept, under the claims "if it was for the good of the village she'd be willing to take part" which would have been more convincing if she wasn't looking at Naruto the entire time. Not the type to be shown up Tayuya also agreed to participate stating that if the mouse could do it so could she.

Eventually everyone soon came to agree as well and the Godaime dismissed them to gather their belongings in preparation for an extended trip departing five tomorrow.

Everyone going their separate ways, each with varying thoughts on the upcoming mission, they packed and most found themselves having restless night while few slept peacefully.

The trip the following day had been relatively peaceful, Tsunade greeted them at the front gate announcing that she'd be taking part in the mission as well, when questioned about who would be running the village she stated that she convinced, _(forced)_, Jiraiya to serve as the temporary Hokage in her steed.

Knowing that the village was left in, relatively, good care the group departed to their destination, a tourist village a few hours away from the Hidden Leaf village on foot, the only issue being halfway through the trip when Ino questioned whether or not she knew Naruto's..._size_, due to the fact the she'd been in charge of his physicals a few times when he visited the hospital.

Said blonde and pinkette's faces were brighter than anyone deemed possible as the young kunoichi attempted to explain that while she'd given Naruto physicals in the past she'd never had any reason to check him there and left it at that; leaving the group to travel in a rather uncomfortable silence for the rest of the trip, everyone failing to notice a certain red faced Hyūgawith her Byakugan ablaze.

Arriving at their destination the group settled into their lodgings, the Hokage's personal vacation home and explored the area for a bit before returning later that night for the beginning of their lessons.

Everyone was gathered around the couch in the living room, save for Naruto and Nexus Anko Shizune, Kurenai and Tsunade, talking amongst themselves about whatever came to mind, but the mind topic seemed to be wondering about the location of the male Uzumaki's their instructors.

Soon enough said instructors walked in from another room in the house, Tsunade dragging in two covered objects setting them in front of the girls.

"Alright ladies who's ready to learn about seduction?" Questioned Anko in a tone that made it sound like a performance was about to start.

"Umm…what about Naruto and Nexus…don't they need to be here before we can do anything" Asked Ino, the rest of the girls nodding in agreement.

"Ahh, that's a good question Ino and you're right Naruto and Nexus do need to be here for us to start the lesson; but you see they still had some doubts about wanting to participate, and despite what I said they refused to understand…so some drastic measures had to be taken.

With a terrifyingly sweet smile the Godaime Hokage lifted the sheets off the object revealing a sight that would forever be burning into the group's memory.

**And that's chapter one I hope you enjoyed it, next chapter you get to find out just what was under the sheets **_**(not that you probably don't know already I really didn't try to hide it that well after all)**_**. But I will explain how they got in the predicament in the first place. I'm really in a writing mood today so I might get the next chapter out faster than usual think, tell me what you think if you have any questions feel free to post them.**


	2. MUST READ!

**Warning! (Copied off ShotgunRedneck)**

**There is a scheme brewing up with the FF staff and they're planning to take down any and every story over the M rated section (stories with yaoi, yuri, het lemons, song based stories, extreme violence, etc) ...**

So on June 23rd, there will be an official Black Out. Authors will not log in, read, or review stories. Those who do not have accounts are also affected by FF's decisions too. Please participate and spread the news! If enough authors take part in this event, FF will know we mean business. Also, if anybody has any information on when this purging on M-rated fics will be please contact me. I would like to know in advance.

SPREAD THE WORD!

(My Part)

As of now most readers, and writers, of must already be aware of what's soon to happen on this site; if not then allow me to tell those who are still following me what's happening. To put it simply has wisely decided purge their website of any satanic impurity that is in anyway shape or form of graphic violence and/or sexuality.

Now while the reasons behind this as still somewhat muggy in my opinion, I mean I can guess but I honestly have not heard or seen any concrete reasoning for this decision from the one in charge of the site itself, I honestly cannot agree with how they feel this situation should be handled, not only as a MA fiction writer, but as a fan of other MA writers and a fan of this site.

It is quite obvious that the creators of are not seeing the full scale of consequences that will come with this decision, if stories that are considered MA are purged from this site, which include all but I believe two of the stories I have posted _(and that's only because I haven't gotten far enough in them yet)_ most of not authors of said stories will leave this site in retaliation to the forceful censorship of the work they poured their all into, for free no less, just for the sake of bettering themselves as writers and entertaining those wishing to read them.

Please correct me if I'm wrong but is it not the very definition of** fan**fiction to take a story that has already been created remake it in your own image of how you'd like to have seen things done or ways a certain scenario would have played out if ran differently?

No matter how you're looking at it this attempt to censor our work defies the very meaning behind this entire site itself. While I will not openly cause an uproar if this decision goes through it can go without saying that my updating on this site no matter how rare or far between will come to a definite halt the only posts being made being for leading people away from this site if they do so wish to read my work. _(I've already made accounts on and incase it is needed)_

**Update on my work:**

As for my fiction currently on the site I said that I would continue it and I mean it, while I have not posted in a long time I have been working my stories _(rewriting some of them quite a few times)_ and I will be posting all of my work **UNCENSORED** on this site, **AFTER THE BLACKOUT**, until I'm banned; why two reasons fist of all I will not cater to the needs of those who go to stories that have clearly been mark as having extremely sexual/violent situations _(ie This fanfic has lemons/is a pwp[porn without plot]/gore heavy)_ the writer's take necessary precautions _(I'm actually going to double check made sure I did once this is posted)_ so why should we suffer for the people ill-responsible to let their kids read this, if that is even the reason behind this decision _(again I have not seen a concrete reasoning behind this decision from the owners of this site)_.

Second this is the best publicity I can hope for I mean seriously by announcing this I'm sure there has been a massive surge in views for stories that are considered "MA". I mean think about it do you think Two Girls One Cup, Hunger Games, or even Harry freakin' Potter got where they are just on their own? No people went around saying "Hey have you seen Two Girls One Cup it has chicks eating shit in it, have you read Hunger Games they turn dead people into werewolf monsters, or don't read Harry Potter it's the devils book!" Yet as I recall all of these have been on the news which got it even more publicity _(Need I ask you who set the record fot the most box office hits it opening weekend?)_ and if you wanna get current, how many people even heard of the Cinnamon challenge before it hit the news, not me that's for sure.

But I digress all I'm saying is that I hope this decision won't go through I've been on this site for as long as I've been on and I'd have to lose it cause some people didn't think shit through.

**Note: From here on out everything is copied from other authors (the blackout message will show up again)**

A word from me, S4ik0ryu:

A lot of things have happened to me in the last month. Top two I was sick like a dying dog for week and I lost my story file to a virus. I was almost done with the chapters too.

Then I come to check out and find that it's been changed it ways that just don't suit, in short they annoy me (a lot like Megavideo did before it was taken down). But what really ticks me off is the whole purging/censoring thing that's taking place irks me the most, in way that I cannot put into words. Is this any different from the whole 'Censor the Internet' bill from a few months ago?

Here are my thoughts/opinions:

It is our right as readers and writers of fanfiction to read and write whatever we please, regardless of what it may contain: be it yaoi, yuri, lemon, or gore themed stories.

Responsible writers also add disclaimers and warnings in their stories so readers will know in advance what the story contains, so they know if it will offend them or not.

Responsible parents/adults need get off their lazy butts and moniter what their brats do and/or check out on ther internet. And install some censoring program to keep their brats from going to sites they don't them to go. Know what their kids are doing and talk to them if it concerns them, even the subject is uncomfortable or conflicts with your beliefs and etc. It is their job and shouldn't be blaming others for their neglect of their parental duties regardless of the circumstances.

As stated below by Glorious Bureden: should just create a MA section where only verified adults readers or registered members/authors should be able to access. Like and deviantart are like that, plus a few other sites I've come acrossed recently.

Unless of course Child Block software actually keeps young children from reading the more mature stories than the parents should do that and buy a good one.

Hmm, now that I've written it out I feel a little better. But I still feel compelled to criticize the staff for its decision.

1. It was mistake to announce that you were going to remove stories for their MA contents. Why? Because it will angry both readers and writers, plus young newcomers will see the announcement and will no doubt look for and read such stories even moreso than if left to their own devices. Just like I want to read the Hunger Games because of what I heard someone say about it. Two words: "Exploding Babies". And the FF staff want to take down our stories.

2. Did the staff change or did some of them become Born Again Christians? Cause this seems something a close minded Christian or someone that's really uptight will try and do. Honestly I'm Catholic and I love certain things about my religion, but I hate the whole close-minded destroy everything that 'offends' the religion it still has. Ugh, it is a really complicated issue for me. I can still feel the sting of that yard stick, ouch.

3. (Repeat from above) It is our right to read and write what we please. Plus we put up warnings in advanced! The responsible ones anyway.

4. If goes ahead with this purging of decent stories than the site will no doubt lose the vast majortiy of readers and writers. What I suggest that is those that leave the site should, instead of joining other sites, come together and create their own fanfiction website if possible. But that's just me.

I for one will take the following steps:

I will take down all my stories later today before Midnight in my timezone, expect for Azure Gaze. I was already planning on doing that anyway, after I posted the new-revised versions of said stories.

Right now I'm currentlly rewritten all three chapters, again. Weeping.

I will repost depending on what happens with . Worst case they censor us and I will have to try and get an account with . Or rather fix said account since I registered last year but now I can't log in for one reason or another.

Let your voice be heard and hope for the best.

Warning! (Copied off ShotgunRedneck)

There is a scheme brewing up with the FF staff and they're planning to take down any and every story over the M rated section (stories with yaoi, yuri, het lemons, song based stories, extreme violence, etc) ...

So on June 23rd, there will be an official Black Out. Authors will not log in, read, or review stories. Those who do not have accounts are also affected by FF's decisions too. Please participate and spread the news! If enough authors take part in this event, FF will know we mean business. Also, if anybody has any information on when this purging on M-rated fics will be please contact me. I would like to know in advance.

SPREAD THE WORD!

copy and pate this into your story updates, communities and forums

thanks

Author's Note: A FanficPetition (Copied off Glorious Burden)

This has nothing to do with the story, but I believe its important this has to be posted.

The administrators of are as of June 4th going to be taking down Fics that have lemons or have extreme violence. Now I don't know about you but I think thats stupid. There are many wonderful fics that only have one or two lemons in them yet the plot itself is awesome! You can't just take down a 100,000+ word fic just because it has a lemon in a chapter that is only 1000 words long. Now I urge you all to read the petition below, sign it, and repost this to your own fics. Hopefully if we make enough noise everything will return to normal. Thank you.

Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.

Myself, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.

For some, that means the permanent loss of a story. While I don't have anything that I believe violates your terms of use, there are those out there that are never able to recover a story in its original form, this is something I find to be almost worthy of a legal action, as while we cannot claim ownership of a character, the stories are OURS and simply destroying them is something that is inexcusable.

It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.

If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.

While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be looseing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.

For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.

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